i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
