i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
