Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
