I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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