I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
