I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you will always have a special place in my vag
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
