why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
