just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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