He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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