Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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