Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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