i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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