I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
