shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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