just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
