ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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