my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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