Plan B is the new Plan A
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
