I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
