...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
