Barsexuality is the new black.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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