IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
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