If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
