well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
