hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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