i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Your penis caused this!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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