How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
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I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
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Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
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