i jhust puked up my retainher.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
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