I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
