I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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