Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
