she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
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I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
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I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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