Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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