he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
not ubering you a puppy
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
