chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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