i just made my gag reflex go away.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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