I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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