remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
