I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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