In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
