she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
