im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
you never un-have a 4some
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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