I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
