I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
