when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
