im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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