Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
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Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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