your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
