your room smells of hookers.
And success
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
