I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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