You work out of a Hotel?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
