Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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