Don't make out with my wife yet
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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