Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
