So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
we're so committed to being not committed
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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