Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
