i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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