names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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