I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I looked at my own cervix.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
