I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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