I like my sex mixed with concussions.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
