If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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