Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
my liver is dry heaving
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
