the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
