my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
